Posts Tagged growth

Money Money Money and Your WHY!

Money is only a vehicle for you to achieve your ‘WHY’… Be in business to serve and be in a business committed to this cause, committed to community, committed to support…Be involved with a business that has greater good in mind – Be part of a business that works with you to achieve your vision, money is purely the bi-product of yours and the businesses commitment to serve…

Be a highly paid difference maker…

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Needs, Values and Cheating!

Scenario posted on Facebook today – “I cheated on my wife! It was just a way out to get out of the mundane life we’d created. I love her, but I don’t love the life we’ve had. I want to ‘start again’, but she’s too bruised to even think about being with me. How can I make her understand it from my side?”

Others responses included alot of finger pointing, judgement and harsh comments…

My Response…

First we must appreciate that people go against their values to fill their needs. This is not about trust, wedding vows, broken promises nor ‘cheating’…whatever that is exactly. This is about a person not having their needs met and most likely in this scenario both parties are not having their needs met. As human beings we operate from 6 basic needs first and foremost…then on top of that we have our values, based on our rules we have set for ourselves which is based on our environment, core beliefs of self etc then not to mention our hierarchy of needs. Which without any of our needs being met, we seek it out in order to meet it. So if he was lacking connection/love as a need and even though as a value he is committed to his wife, his need comes first…so then say he’s out, gets a little ongoing attention from a lady (maybe he doesn’t get at home anymore) and ‘BAM’ he goes into fill my need mode…Does he feel good about it? Hell NO, he has gone against his values which are made up of his rules….a constant battle, though his human need has been fulfilled (for now). Now, I am not suggesting this is his way to cop out, though as people we are completely responsible for the choices we make, both parties are responsible for the way they BE in each others company…be it mundane…maybe and quite possibly she has filled any of her unmet needs another way – we don’t get to hear that side. In an ideal world, we are all enlightened and needs do not exist…though we are human and this is a looooong way off.  I am in no way suggesting this is easy though we must appreciate that there are always two sides to every story and somewhere in the middle is the truth! Don’t be so quick to judge – judgement comes from your own rules which make up your own values…As Nicole suggests he must find peace so he can operate from love….see what happens!! Maybe this is the wake up call their mundane life needed!!!

Your thoughts??

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What is REALITY?

In philosophy, reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined…

Is reality a concept that is created by society? If so then who in society and at what point in time have they determined reality? Seeing as we are ever evolving surely this means they are ever evolving the concept of reality that we live by?

What if it were true that each member of the human race created their own reality and that each person is responsible for the reality of their lives and that no on reality is like another?

So if this is true then can there be just on reality set by society? We all hear people say things like…”the reality is” or “realistically speaking”…this would suggest to me that there is one reality out there where perhaps my thoughts and actions wouldn’t fit into..So who is it that determines this one reality?

It is true for me that I can create my own reality based on the results of my ongoing thoughts and actions which are a direct result of my ongoing thoughts and actions which are a result of my own belief systems, rules and values…so is it possible for someone to have the exact same belief systems, rules and values as myself in the exact same order? Yes it’s possible…unlikely…So is it possible for any one other person to have the exact reality as myself…unlikely! If this is true, then why do we insist on pushing our reality onto others by using statements like “the reality is” or “realistically speaking”??

Solution… 🙂

Take ownership by simply adding to the statements the word ‘my’ into the sentence…ie my reality is…

Own your own reality and allow others to own and create theirs…

You are at the end of the day – the Master of Your Own Destiny!!


Wealth Beyond Freedom

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James Michael Sama

Relationship Coach | Relationship Consultant | Confidence Coach

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