I was jumping out of my skin when it was announced on the first visionary call of the year with our company that the Alchemy Program had been formed. I couldn’t wait to share with our business associates my excitement in an overview email, I registered immediately for The Alchemy Apprenticeship and could see myself clearly winning the blog writing competition and being flown over to Colorado to hang out with our company’s founders prior to the next event.
Yet…it’s been almost a month and I have not submitted a blog entry. There is not a day that goes by that I am not thinking about it and writing down topic ideas. Then I spend a moment beating myself up about it. So, what’s stopping me…?
Lack of Commitment…nahhhh!
Lack of Passion….NO!
Comparing myself to others…HOT!!
The fear of failure by comparison paralyses me. I don’t believe I have ever said it like that before.
My fear of failure makes for a great quality as an event manager as I triple cross check everything and generally speaking nothing goes wrong as I account for every possible scenario, my goal is to always put on the best event anyone has experienced. However, that said, in our business with PG and personal life – I am my own stopper.
How am I my own stopper? I am forever comparing myself to others – unfairly, I compare myself to the person at the gym who is the strongest and fastest, I compare myself to the leaders here at PG, wondering am I worthy to be a leader and stand among them. Simon was growing his business with PG when I met him and upon my decision to join him I find myself comparing my ability with his ability to talk with prospects on the phone and his boldness to step out on most calls and just rattle off something clever and inspiring – could I do this that well??…By my own comparison, I always come off second best by my own opinion, and so I remain as I am…believing I am not quite good enough.
What’s my game plan…? I will begin by owning it, owning my quality and turn it around to use it for the greater good. That’s tough, it’s tough because it’s how I reason with myself for not doing or not participating in something. By identifying with my fear of failure, I will be able to monitor my decision making process and call myself on it and now have you guys too call me on it. The beautiful element of this leadership community is having others hold you to a higher standard.
The funny thing is by succumbing to my fear of failure, I am choosing to not participate and thus I am not choosing in…and this results in failure ANYWAY!!! Lose/Lose.
The words I live by are ‘To Lead By Example’ and yet I can feel like a fraud at times. So, I choose in. I choose to blog and will move to grow beyond my ‘fear of failure by comparison’. I am after all the supreme authority of my own life.
This morning’s call with Helen, Anna and Rachel inspired me, I can’t quite put my finger on it though there in lies just one reason to always (no matter what) PLUG IN to the training calls.
To be continued…
I say to my kids when they are struggling to get over something…go to the hardware store, buy timber, build a bridge and get over it!! Easy right? We expect our kids to ‘get over it’ and deal with their issues quickly though I continually hear stories of ex’s just not able to move past their previous relationship and yet are in another relationship…WHAT THE??
It is imperative when moving on from a previous partner to another that you MOVE FORWARD. Moving forward is not holding onto your past or hosting a series of grudges toward an ex partner. Perspective is a wonderful word and it’s up to you how you look upon your life and it’s up to you on the story you create from your experiences thus far. You can choose to look back with regret, anger and hatred or you can look back with gratitude that he/she came into your life and with that possibly you had children or even just some fun times and certainly at some level would have experienced love.
Let’s face it, it’s not often we enter into a relationship without some sense of feeling warmth toward the other person (hopefully love), as the saying suggests, best to have loved and lost than not loved at all…it’s just how you look at it – perspective!
Ask yourself, can you possibly have a fulfilling next relationship if you have unresolved feelings toward your previous relationship/s? What can you do to resolve your issues and alter your perspective? The answer; gratitude. It is impossible to not feel even just a little bit better when we are grateful – that is a human absolute. There really is no greater wisdom in understanding that no matter the situation there is always something to be grateful for.
If you understand the butterfly effect, you will know that one flap of a butterfly’s wing can alter and impact the life of someone and then their actions impact the life of someone else and so on, the initial action could affect generations to come (children do as you do and not as you say)…just as the ripple in a pond on one side of the world could create massive waves on the other.
When exiting a relationship, do what you can to have peace by looking for what it is you can be grateful for, this in turn will create a sense of happiness which impacts well-being.
Perspective is merely the story you tell yourself, alter your perspective by looking for gratitude and that will alter your story.
One must never carry left over negativity into our next relationship…honestly ask yourself how do you see that relationship thriving when you carry such a burden??
Be Extraordinary 🙂
Our Business: Is It Easy?
Frankly – no, it’s not easy, but it is simple. And there is a difference.
The system that we use to create success is simple! It’s a 3 step system and you simply follow the steps.
The catch is that you must apply discipline and follow the 3 step system that we’ve created. Scary word that – discipline.
I’ve learned that the “average person” runs a mile when they hear the word discipline. But here’s the thing, with our company, we are not looking to create “average results”. We take a stand for the unique potential that is within all of us and set people free and on a path to creating extraordinary results.
To create above average results one must apply themselves and practice disciplined freedoms. A typical working week for us is approx. 20 hours. Much can be created in 20 hours a week of disciplined actions.
We teach you how to be most productive with your time and focus on doing the things that actually get the result, so that you have time to enjoy all that life has to offer.
Reach out to me today if you are more than average so I can assist you in knowing for yourself about our business.
“Teachers open the doors, but you must enter by yourself.” Chinese Proverb
I can’t stress how important it is to have positive mentors that we can look up to throughout life. Even though it can sometimes feel like one person can’t make a difference, the truth is, one person is all it takes to make a difference.
As Mahatma Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
It’s actually quite amazing how one person can inspire countless others to make a stand, to fight (or peacefully protest) for what they believe is right, to walk on the moon, to take flight, to declare independence.
There have been so many influential leaders, thinkers, innovators and creators, who have achieved incredible success (often despite great setbacks), who’ve changed society in the process.
When we hold great people in our head and hearts, we can more fully realize the powerful impact that remembering their words and following through on their actions, can have.
The hardest part about having joint custody of the kids after a breakup (via iVillage Australia) >> http://bit.ly/15rwLMF
My response to the above blog and how can you create a positive co-parenting relationship with your ‘ex’..
I too am one of the lucky ones, am I lucky or did we create what we have?? I actually know we created what we have, when my childrens father and I went separate ways we decided that no matter what is going on between us – we put our children first.
Granted both parties here had a vested interest though the journey was no joyride initially. It took an extreme amount of maturity to stand by our decision and that we did (most of the time). I felt he couldn’t look at me for a long time, though time healed that and we both grew to see that we both played a part in the end of us as a couple. So we un-coupled and yet we remain a family. 8 years on and with the add ons of new partners and step children our family has grown substantially.
At the end of the the day, it comes down to choice and the decisions you make on how you act and who you show up as. It does make it a challenge when one parent struggles with the concept of separation etc – my approach was to ALWAYS go back with love and respect, no matter how tough it got. Not to say I compromised myself – I had done this enough within my relationship…though I chose my responses wisely and held my tongue.
What we have today is ‘the ideal’, we are one big family caring for little people who live with the consequences of their parents decisions. We were just two people who just couldn’t get their shit together being together though two people who love their children very much. I am a mother who knows how important their father is in the life, he’s a good man, I had children with him afterall and loved him, so why would I do anything to stop him from seeing his kids.
So, always feel into your decisions and make a choice that comes from love, no matter how this is received, keep doing this, put your children first, deal with your crap somewhere else and work out what part you played and your responsibility so it doesn’ happen again in your next relationship, go out and create your own life…most of all, love and appreciate the other parent for simply being your childrens mother or father…no other adult will love your child as much as you – other than them.
Do your best to always be your best ! I would love to hear from you if you too have a story to share or maybe you would like some help too in acheiveing an extraodinary co-parenting arrangement!
“Because of the structure of our brains, women have the ability to shift ways of thinking and being almost instantaneously. We don’t need the transition time that being single focused requires. This includes switching from masculine to feminine ways of being; once we have ownership of both kinds, we can shift from one to the other. This is the source of women’s belief that an emasculated man will become feminine. This is inaccurate; he doesn’t switch from masculine to feminine. Rather, when a man is emasculated, he becomes inert. It’s like pushing a pause button on his power, his creativity, his accountability and his participation. Sadly, he will remain this way until there is an opening, an authentic invitation, for him to be masculine, generative, and providing.” – Alison Armstrong
So what’s on your menu? Do you even have a menu? The menu contains ‘normal’ stuff – which is majority thinking, a thinking everyone agrees with.
The word ‘normal’ means ~ ‘The usual, average, or typical state or condition’ or conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected way.
You may have a menu that limits your income, time and habits…In order to change this we must move beyond our comfort zone.
Choose your current menu and throw it away, create your own thing, walk your own path. Just getting on the path gives you the pleasure and the joy.
We allow tiny little obstacles that stop us, like lack of money, time….if you believe you are bigger than your problem then disagree that you have a lack mentality, the norm ‘agree’ – do you see how you have to go against the norm? It will feel strange though this will excel you to show up without a menu of normality. The things that make us feel alive the most are generally not on the menu.
I am selecting a result in my life that is definitely not on the menu
I selecting a result in my life that is not on the menu
My power to be free comes from my power to disagree
Choose Your Own ‘Normal’ or Don’t Do It At All !! 🙂
How exciting is it to be in control of your life and actions?
By identifying what you desire you can focus your attention on “What You Want”.
Every thought you have is either negative or positive.
What a remarkable statement!
Think about that for a second.
Every word you SAY or THINK is either NEGATIVE or POSITIVE!
Which are you doing at all times? Today you are going to learn how to make “What you want” match your thoughts!
It is vital to your success to briefly observe the negative thoughts you have and identify them as something you don’t want.
By doing so, you become clearer about “WHAT YOU DO WANT”
Observing this contrast is essential because it helps you become clear about what you do want. You are experiencing clarity when ever you observe contrast in your life.
These are small steps, which will put your journey on the right path.
A wise man once said “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. Knowing this to be true you are taking your first steps today. You are now charting your course and your destiny will be assured.
Instead of saying what you don’t want; make the decision today, to say, “What do I want”.
First thing we need to do is take a minute and write down all of the things where you feel unsatisfied. Utilize the spaces provided below.
Examples: I can’t close a sale, I don’t have enough money, I wish I was in better shape, I don’t have enough time.
Now, on the other side of the page, replace your negative statement with a positive statement?
Examples: I can close a sale, I will make a way to get the money, I will exercise everyday, I will make the time.
By doing these exercises you will build the confidence to create the results you desire!
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Below is a template to create your mission statement and help you find your why.
The purpose of finding YOUR WHY is to create a passionate, direct reason for you to accomplish what ever you are looking to achieve in your life.
You may have a lot a different “whys” and your direction may change.
If your mission is to create wealth to take care of your family, what is your “Why”? Your “Why” is your family.
In order to create a mission statement that is on purpose and true to your desires, your reason for accomplishing your mission must be bigger than you.
Make no mistake you will stumble and may even fall, but knowing your “why” will give you the strength to get up, stand tall,and continue on your journey.
You have already made changes in your life that will last forever; today you will insert the final piece- YOUR MISSION STATEMENT.
By knowing and standing by your mission statement, you control your results. Hold fast to your dreams and stay the course.
To achieve the results you desire it is not necessary you enjoy the process. It is only important that you continue the process with your eyes on the outcome. An athlete does not enjoy the pain of training; and athlete enjoys the results of having trained.
You must focus on the results. Create your results now, create your future today!
Remember, average people compare themselves to other people.
That is why they are average. You only need to compare yourself to your potential! You are not average. Any adversity is only preparation for greatness.
“Success or failure as a human being is not a matter of luck, circumstances, fate, or any of the other tiresome old clichés.
Those are only excuses. The power to achieve the life of your dreams is in your hands–and the first step toward activating it is identifying the specific goals that will make your dreams real.
After all, it’s much easier to get what you want out of life when you know where you’re going.” – Nightingale.com
Below is a template to help you create YOUR mission statement. You may have multiple mission statements,
1 for business, 1 for personal, 1 for physical, or any other area in your life you feel a purpose for change.
Process of building your mission statement:
List 5 positive characteristics that define you and an action to describe each.
Enter 5 personal and/or professional goals and 1 financial goal you would like to accomplish by one year from today.
You’ve made it happen!
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What is freedom? Freedom is unassigned potential. It is extra time, extra money, underutilized influence, new relationships, under utilized abilities. It is the ability to move, learn and grow. It is the potential to create something you desire in your life. But it it wasted potential until it is put to constructive use. Freedom that is not being user productively does not feel like freedom. It feels more like anxiety. And if you have things in your life that need to be addressed in a significant way, that anxiety turns into stress.
Unused freedom creates the feeling of anxiety or stress, were well-used freedom feels like exhilaration or calm confidence in action. Freedom is not freedom if it is not being used. Freedom is potential power, and a human being is meant to flow that power, not bottle it up. But confusion, fear and doubt keep us from taking action, and action is the source of creation.
Learning to put freedom to constructive use is an evolutionary process, but the result is more freedom, more assignable potential. It’s what isbeyond freedom that makes someone feel free.