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I came across this article and well it hit a nerve…I loved very word though I also know I am not truly living all of it. This will be changing NOW…
Here is the article — what stuck out for you?
Take a stand,
Sometimes being in a blended family has the challenge that you still feel like you look after your children and he looks after his…this is definitely for me sometimes (most weekends it’s a little ships in the night business) — how about you?
To be honest I even find myself wondering what the advantages are being in this set up if you’re still doing it all yourself anyway (though as the primary parent you just get up and get it done)…it would have to mean the relationship with your partner on its own is worth this – yes? Is it?
Maybe there is room for all of us to do a little bit more to help each other out and extend a hand to replicate the village.
Do you find this sometimes?
What’s your blended story?
Most people like to be in agreement with others and play it safe. Maybe a BOLD statement though I feel is pretty much a true one. Healthy? I’m not so sure!! As we move through our personal empowerment program, I have a sneaky suspicion that we all become someone without that particular need – the need to always ‘agree’ or ‘to be agreed with’. The millionaire mindset as quoted by Shane Krider is to ‘Start to loose the need to have people agree with you’. I love the quote “Be daring, be different, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers…” — Cecil Beaton
So how do we achieve this? How do we act differently to the masses and stand as a supreme authority of our own life? Firstly we have to want to be different, then do different things and the result will be we break out of the herd. The purpose of the herd is to keep you in the herd. Again, the principle of BE DO HAVE rears it’s head, there must be a theme here ~ in order to create change first we must BE the change.
That said, there is no point learning this stuff if we can not or not willing to implement it. As I move through BFE and listen more to coaching calls, I know what it is to be more and to make your future self your best friend. We must be more firm on our values and know more things are black and white, stand up for what you want, be less willing to compromise on your values and for goodness sake follow your instinct. So, being a sovereign and the supreme authority over your own life you will discover you may want to go in a different direction to the masses and follow your north star (a discovery you will uncover by using your BFE program).
I shared the story of blue crabs at our most recent Sovereignty Live 5 Day Event; which is quite interesting. If you put a crab in a bucket alone and it’s able to climb out of the bucket and escape, it WILL climb out to free itself (WINNER). As soon as there are two or more crabs in the bucket, as one tries to climb out and escape, the others will grab it and pull it back in. None of them end up getting out – how ludicrous is this! The term “crab mentality” is used to describe a kind of selfish, short-sighted thinking that runs along the lines of “if I can’t have it, neither can you.” You may have experienced ‘crab mentality’ when you have been in pursuit of something. have you ever had peers attempt to pull you down rather than letting you move forward, get ahead and pursue your dreams. Why is it do you think crabs pull each other back down rather than working together to get out? They can all get out, its proven time and time again, as individuals they achieve, as a herd they get stuck. Rather than them all getting out, heading to freedom and having a massive party, each would rather face the ‘pot’, and meet their fate. NO THANK YOU!!!
In a family environment, ‘crab mentality’ may show up when a family member (possibly YOU) is looking to take on a new travelling experience, new career move or even set up their own business (eh hum Polaris Global). Other family members may do their best to pull you down to prevent you from climbing out of your bucket (seriously who wants to stay housed in a bucket). Shane Krider discussed this topic in detail at our most recent event for Polaris Global, he mentioned as parents we often put our own fears onto our children, though to us it is dressed up as love. We do this to “protect them”, we don’t want to see them fail, not realising that stopping them is also them failing ‘self’. GUILTY AS CHARGED! “Sorry kids, mummy will do better”.
I am a rambler, I will leave it at that for now. Remember you are the centre of the universe and the universe is always expanding, expand with it or retract from it – that decision is yours to make, I choose to expand, just not my waistline
Over & Out x
Guide to Step-parenting & Blended Families – How to Bond with Stepchildren & Deal with Step family Issues
Guide to Step-parenting & Blended Families – How to Bond with Stepchildren & Deal with Step family Issues
When families “blend” to create step families, things rarely progress smoothly. Some children may resist changes, while parents can become frustrated when the new family doesn’t function like their previous family. While changes to family structure require adjustment time for everyone involved, these guidelines can help blended families work out their growing pains and live together successfully.
Success for a Blended Families
You and your partner have decided to make a life together and form a new, blended family that includes children from one or both of your previous relationships. Congratulations. What lies ahead can be both a rewarding and a challenging experience. It can take a long time for a blended family to begin to feel comfortable and function well together.
While you as parents are likely to approach remarriage and a new blended family with great joy and expectation, your kids or your new spouse’s kids may not be nearly as excited. They’ll likely feel uncertain about the upcoming changes and how they will affect relationships with their natural parents. They’ll also be worried about living with new step siblings, whom they may not know well, or worse, ones they may not even like. To give yourself the best chance of success, it’s important to start planning how a blended family will function before the marriage even takes place.
Laying the foundations for a blended family
Having survived a painful divorce or separation and then managed to find a new loving relationship, the temptation can often be to rush into remarriage and a blended family without first laying solid foundations. By taking your time, you give everyone a chance to get used to each other, and used to the idea of marriage.
Too many changes at once can unsettle children.
Blended families have the highest success rate if the couple waits two years or more after a divorce to remarry, instead of piling one drastic family change onto another.
Don’t expect to fall in love with your partner’s children overnight.
Get to know them. Love and affection take time to develop.
Find ways to experience “real life” together.
Taking both sets of kids to a theme park every time you get together is a lot of fun, but it isn’t reflective of everyday life. Try to get the kids used to your partner and his or her children in daily life situations.
Make parenting changes before you marry.
Agree with your new partner how you intend to parent together, and then make any necessary adjustments to your parenting styles before you remarry. It’ll make for a smoother transition and your kids won’t become angry at your new spouse for initiating changes.
Don’t allow ultimatums.
Your kids or new partner may put you in a situation where you feel you have to choose between them. Remind them that you want both sets of people in your life.
Insist on respect.
You can’t insist people like each other but you can insist that they treat one another with respect.
Limit your expectations.
You may give a lot of time, energy, love, and affection to your new partner’s kids that will not be returned immediately. Think of it as making small investments that may one day yield a lot of interest.
Given the right support, kids should gradually adjust to the prospect of marriage and being part of a new family. It is your job to communicate openly, meet their needs for security, and give them plenty of time to make a successful transition.
Authors: Gina Kemp, M.A., Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Lawrence Robinson. Helpguide.org
Have questions? Connect with us on https://www.facebook.com/miKinApp or direct here through the comments section…
How exciting is it to be in control of your life and actions?
By identifying what you desire you can focus your attention on “What You Want”.
Every thought you have is either negative or positive.
What a remarkable statement!
Think about that for a second.
Every word you SAY or THINK is either NEGATIVE or POSITIVE!
Which are you doing at all times? Today you are going to learn how to make “What you want” match your thoughts!
It is vital to your success to briefly observe the negative thoughts you have and identify them as something you don’t want.
By doing so, you become clearer about “WHAT YOU DO WANT”
Observing this contrast is essential because it helps you become clear about what you do want. You are experiencing clarity when ever you observe contrast in your life.
These are small steps, which will put your journey on the right path.
A wise man once said “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. Knowing this to be true you are taking your first steps today. You are now charting your course and your destiny will be assured.
Instead of saying what you don’t want; make the decision today, to say, “What do I want”.
First thing we need to do is take a minute and write down all of the things where you feel unsatisfied. Utilize the spaces provided below.
Examples: I can’t close a sale, I don’t have enough money, I wish I was in better shape, I don’t have enough time.
Now, on the other side of the page, replace your negative statement with a positive statement?
Examples: I can close a sale, I will make a way to get the money, I will exercise everyday, I will make the time.
By doing these exercises you will build the confidence to create the results you desire!
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Be INspired…..Provide INspiration
Gain Certainty and Clarity In Ones LIFE
Create Your Dream Lifestyle
“When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” from The Alchemist
This intriguing book shares with us the story of a young shepherd boy named Santiago who embarks on a journey to Egypt, after having a recurring dream of finding treasure there.. Santiago believed the recurring dream to be prophetic.
Santiago encounters many interesting characters who each share their own experiences of life, disappointment, wealth and personal enlightenment.
Upon setting of on his quest, Santiago comes across a merchant who is stuck in the effect side of life — basically he created a lot of justification to reason why he hadn’t reached his full potential and fulfil all of his goals and dreams. The shopkeeper is unwilling to take risks. He tells Santiago, “When I was young, all I wanted to do was put together enough money to start this shop, I thought that someday I’d be rich…” He then shares with Santiago all that he had for and accomplished in life but could never afford.
Santiago meets an Alchemist who says that usually people only want to find the treasure, but not the thing that is responsible for the treasure itself…and without understanding this simple truth; they will never accomplish all that they wish and will remain unfulfilled.
Along his journey through Egypt, Sanitago meets the a beautiful woman, falls in love and asks her to marry him; however, Fatima insists that he seek out his Personal Legend before they marry. This confuses Santiago, though the Alchemist teaches him that true love never gets in the way of fulfilling one’s dreams. If it does, then it is not true love.
In the end, he realizes that playing it safe is often more threatening to his freedom than taking a risk. You could learn not just how to make money, but how to create real and lasting wealth in all areas of your life and reach your highest potential. .
Imagine if you could implement this lesson into your own life and stop searching for treasures and simply make your word law in the universe.
If you have not yet read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and want to live your fulfilled life, head to your book store and buy it today! It truly is a magical fable about following your dreams…
In philosophy, reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined…
Is reality a concept that is created by society? If so then who in society and at what point in time have they determined reality? Seeing as we are ever evolving surely this means they are ever evolving the concept of reality that we live by?
What if it were true that each member of the human race created their own reality and that each person is responsible for the reality of their lives and that no on reality is like another?
So if this is true then can there be just on reality set by society? We all hear people say things like…”the reality is” or “realistically speaking”…this would suggest to me that there is one reality out there where perhaps my thoughts and actions wouldn’t fit into..So who is it that determines this one reality?
It is true for me that I can create my own reality based on the results of my ongoing thoughts and actions which are a direct result of my ongoing thoughts and actions which are a result of my own belief systems, rules and values…so is it possible for someone to have the exact same belief systems, rules and values as myself in the exact same order? Yes it’s possible…unlikely…So is it possible for any one other person to have the exact reality as myself…unlikely! If this is true, then why do we insist on pushing our reality onto others by using statements like “the reality is” or “realistically speaking”??
Take ownership by simply adding to the statements the word ‘my’ into the sentence…ie my reality is…
Own your own reality and allow others to own and create theirs…
You are at the end of the day – the Master of Your Own Destiny!!
Are you ready prepared to do what it takes to get the cheese or do you live in fear of a possible trap?
Sometimes it can be very uncomfortable to go for the cheese as you may have preconceived ideas, what does all this mean…BE Open to possibilities, look beyond what your sceptic mind permits you to see…
Look to be victorious and take responsibilty not a victim of circumstance.
Become stronger from adversity and GET the cheese!!
The ‘cheese’ being an analogy for absolutely anything you want more of in your life…