Archive for category Purposeful Living
What does this have to do with your success? How can the elephant trainers method help you conquer your limitations?
Circus elephants are conditioned to accept their limitations. A huge two-ton elephant shackled by one leg. At the end of the shackle is a small wooden stake dug into the ground. Hard to believe but true, that elephant is being limited by that short chain and the small stake. Obviously the elephant has enough power to free itself and roam around as he pleases. You see as a youngster the shackle placed on his leg was able to hold him in place. After tugging on it for a certain period of time his leg became bruised. This created enough pain in him that he stopped attempting his own freedom.
Once he accepts the limitation imposed on him it becomes a permanent belief, or in his case, a conditioned reaction. Now as he grows into adulthood, he has the power to easily pull the stake out of the ground, but his conditioning has taught him that the effort will not only be futile, it will be painful as well.
Here is what is important. We are not young elephants. We don’t have to create or accept these limitations. We can choose to break free. We will soon go through four steps that will guide you in eliminating the stakes that are holding you back. But first lets visit our circus elephant again. For the sake of this example, we’ll call our elephant “Jimbo.”
Here is Jimbo shackled to the ground. I’m his new trainer and I want to recondition him. First and foremost, I let Jimbo get hungry. I let a day or two pass without feeding him. Then I get his favorite food and place it inches from his reach. Close enough that he can smell it. Close enough that he is salivating. Next I provide encouragement, “Come on Jimbo. Come and get it.” I yell out. I repeat this process until, little by little, Jimbo starts pulling himself to freedom.
Here are the four steps:
1. Get hungry. Desire is one of the key components for destroying limitations. If your desire is strong enough you will become internally motivated to take action.
2. Keep your goals in front of you. So close that you can smell them and you salivate with desire to have them. This again will create the internal motivation to go forward no matter what may be holding you back.
3. Small steps bring huge rewards. Arrange small milestones along the way to the achievement of your big goal. With each tiny effort forward the stake will lift itself from the ground. This will re-enforce the belief that you can in fact attain your goal.
4. Get a mentor. A mentor is more than just a guide. Mentors encourage and cheer you on. They place the plate in front of you and say, “come and get it.” Follow their advice and you will satisfy your hunger.
Are you hungry yet for more, do you have goals that are so close you can smell them? Take small steps, celebrate the small wins, this will reinforce your efforts and invest in yourself..
Big discussion this ~ I have been on this journey, a 35kg one!
My Ownership – I filled void for sure by eating late at night, feeling quite lonely whilst my partner at the time was busy doing his thing on his computer…I ate well generally speaking and was quite active, though it was the late night before bed bowls of cereal, lots of milk chocolate and biscuits dunked into my milo that tipped the scales….then…there was the loneliness I was experiencing inside my relationship with 2 small children. I know others may say ‘take responsibility’ ‘work from the outside in’, starts with self etc …though this is not so easy to get your head around when its new for you (which it was at the time).
For me, I really adopted the BE DO HAVE model which I read about, genius I thought.
Mentally – I knew I wanted to be smaller again, so I started reading stuff on being thankful, thankful for what I have as opposed to being disgusted and crying every morning before I started my day. It started with being grateful for what I did have IE I have an able body, good skin, great natural nails etc. I also hung out a skirt I wanted to get back into – I would see this every day.
Physically – I did a 6 week pole dancing course with other mums from school, though I was heavy, this really helped with feeling like a woman again, I got my sexy back.
My mindset was shifting, my perspective was altering…I then decided to reclaim some power, which I needed to do alone, so I broke away from my relationship (very very hard) and for the next 7 years (5 of that single) worked on myself to be the version of me I am today.
What I will also share in addition is that on making this decision to break away and reclaim my identity (not something we all need to do nor do we need to do it alone) – I shed 10 kilos in 7 days…how’s that for emotional baggage??
So…there is no magical quick fix, it’s a decision – that’s all, a decision and commitment to become a better version of yourself. 7 years on…no weight gain 🙂
It really starts with a decision to own your stuff, own your crap…it doesn’t belong to anyone else – just you!
Money is only a vehicle for you to achieve your ‘WHY’… Be in business to serve and be in a business committed to this cause, committed to community, committed to support…Be involved with a business that has greater good in mind – Be part of a business that works with you to achieve your vision, money is purely the bi-product of yours and the businesses commitment to serve…
Be a highly paid difference maker…
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Paving your own path for human beings is so damn hard as we are use to functioning as a group. All of our basic animal survival instincts lead us to believe that following the pack is the best thing to do. Throw into the mix years and years of conditioning from leaders, spiritual teachers and low and behold the education system – it is quite astonishing today that anyone actually thinks for themselves.
Still; we have successful people, you know the ones that STAND OUT (sometimes referred to as the ‘black sheep’ – where you?) – clearly these people got there alone, without the need to be surrounded by the group.
Whether you are going for a high achievement of any sort, this could include financial, relationship fulfillment, education, sporting or even to develop a high spiritual awareness – chances are we will have to BE different to who we have been previously. This may mean being somewhat counter intuitive and certainly will mean doing things in the non conventional way and somewhat defying the so called ‘wisdom’ of our peers. Some call it – Going against the ‘norm’…
The most challenging part of your journey will be the beginning, you will soon realise you are being different and unique (so will others). And all the ‘norms’ out there question you, look at you funny, may judge you and they will certainly challenge your decisions and actions. The new you may not be in line with who they know you to be and their expectation of you may not then be met. Values shift – e.g. you meet a person you want to have a relationship with after being ‘single’ for years, you may find your friend group not necessarily understanding why all of a sudden your priorities have shifted, their expectations of you are one way and you show up another way…OR maybe you have decided to drop your highly paid career and travel the world, your peers will struggle with this ‘obscure’ behaviour. You can help them adapt to the new you… 🙂
It is here and now why it is imperative to seek out role models; they may be in the form of a coach, mentor or new peers — this will naturally occur as you stretch yourself. There is a philosophy I love, like attracts like, it’s simple though profound if you really think about it. So consider who it is you want to be like? We become like the people we spend our time with. Whether you desire to build a great business, go it alone in any way shape or form – be prepared for your closest friends to not share in your enthusiasm, especially if they are very much engrained in the ‘norm’.
Dont be alarmed though as this does not mean you will loose all of your friends – you may loose some, this does then create a space – (called The Law of Displacement ) for new friends to come in, friends more like the ‘new ‘ you. Evolving does mean you see things from a different perspective, it is easier and clearer for you when you are surrounded by peers moving forward in a similar direction, it is great to seek out those further down the path from you, as they tend to keep you going with forward movement, keeping always one step ahead of the herd.
Just a few weeks ago introduced to an opportunity that was amazing, it had taken me some to time to really see it though i eventually did…so three weeks ago, I made a decision to go for it…this past week, I have really felt alive…passionate, enthusiastic, energetic and really ON purpose. I saw this as a leg of our table that could leverage our family. Yesterday the game changed and there is alot of speculation, talk, negativity – lets face it those energy vampires will do anything to suck you of energy, and how well they do it with the power of the internet. I fortunately have not allowed myself to engage in any of it and no matter what happens with that leg of our table…we will create another to replace it. What it did provide me was an anchoring and a reminder on how it really feels to be on purpose, be enthusiastic and passionate – it was so easy to feel this…so as much as I really wanted that leg of our table to support us, what it has provided me was an opportunity to experience the feelings on how we MUST BE in every moment with everything we do…That is my perspective!!
There’s a four lettered word
As offensive as any
It holds back the few
Puts a stop to the many.
You can’t climb that mountain
You can’t cross the sea
You can’t become anything you want to be.
He can’t hit a century
They can’t find a cure.
She can’t think about leaving
or searching for more.
Because can’t is a word with a habit of stopping
The ebb and flow of ideas
It keeps dropping itself where we know
in our hearts it’s not needed
And saying “don’t go”
when we could have succeeded.
But those four little letters
That end with a T
They can change in an instant
When shortened to three.
We can take off the T
We can do it today
We can move forward not back
We can find our own way.
We can build we can run
We can follow the sun
We can push we can pull
We can say I’m someone
Who refuses to believe
That life can’t be better
With the removal of one
I wonder…as I have just started taking Wild Salmon Oil daily, will this help me to swim upstream against the current like Salmon do? I feel that going with the flow is easy though it doesn’t always serve me…maybe I have to swim in the opposite direction to the flow in order to grow strong and get what I want!!
I swim squad 3 times a week, I love it, it keeps me fit, toned and tanned (shameful I know)…On my warm up this past Wednesday I got thinking, as I lead my lane out into a 600meter freestyle warm up – yep warm up…I struggled to stay out in front, so after 300meters I stopped and let the next swimmer take the lead..If you swim you would know that when you swim behind someone you can see their bubbles or as I call it their slipstream, the bigger the slipstream IE The more bubbles then the closer you are, and closer you are to being kicked in the head… 🙂 Thing is I had to make myself slow down to keep my distance and to avoid a good head kicking, yet when I was in the lead, struggled to stay on in front – why is this so?
I realised that for me, the person in front was leading the way and was my goal post, I worked hard to keep up, my competitive nature kicked in and thus I did kept up quite effortlessly in his slipstream…being out in front meant having to pave and lead the way for others and swim without a goal post (for me this is true)…so that said, not everyone is a leader, nor do I believe everyone is capable of being a leader, what is important is that no matter whether you are out in front paving the way or close behind in the slipstream, what is important is that the movement you are taking is always in a forward motion.
My disclaimer; leading by example is different, you don’t need to be a leader to walk your talk, be in your integrity and play full out!
The more self love you have, the more on purpose you are being and the closer you are to reaching you higher potential which is the natural order of the universe. Therefore; when being authentic and purposeful you are more likely to be genuinely servicing others, the more people we serve when in line with our true purpose, the more ‘wealth’ we have (wholisitcally speaking). You will have in your life (wholistically) in proportion to the person you are being and the actions you are doing. Remember, we all have our own set of rules and our very own perspective!
Sitting in a cafe this morning and about to head over to the office I was engulfed with the need to write a note based on a little self reflection…as you do when you spend an hour alone uniterrupted!
This is who I am…I am loving, supportive, authentic and energetic. My family is my rock and my partner is my inspiration.
Everything I do is for these people which fulfills all my needs as love is my highest value and of course family being the means to experience this. Contribution and truth come a close second. With everything I do, I ask myself how am I serving the ones I love by doing this or taking this action….if my answer is uncertain or not clear then I will make the adjustments I need to until I become clear and certain with my decision.
I love my life and will give my everything to the ones I love. For my partner in my life, to you I am loving, you have my support, friendship and honour, in return I ask you simply to love me as I am and to honour my need for certainty and security. I am a woman first and foremost (hence my need for certainty and security), I am his lover, partner for life, confidant and best friend. I am a dedicated mother and our children will always have a loving warm home with us, no matter their age and circumstance.
And lastly, I am a friend to many wonderful people whom I love to be part of their journey in reaching their highest potential….
I am not a business woman, I am a woman who wants the best for everyone, I have a wilingness to serve and to help others learn how to create and have a life as I have, even through my own adversity and challenges…if I can, you can too!