Archive for category Purposeful Living
A stunning blog post I had to share and I will quickly share with you why. Currently I am having my own personal struggle with putting back on some kilos and really not changing anything – there’s a lot to be said for mindset. I am a big believer that altering our body starts with what goes on in your head – how you feel about yourself and your self worth.
I have also realised that I have never honoured myself where I am at, currently I don’t fit into the jeans I wore just 6 months ago yet 6 months ago I considered myself a ‘big girl’ (WTF) as I have always generally seen myself even at 48 kilos, 57 kilos and 61 kilos (none of which are BIG for my body type). Always looking to others and how they look to better myself as opposed to really standing tall in my own skin and loving where I am at. I know I fill myself on nutritious foods, I don’t consume a great deal of alcohol, don’t smoke, don’t take any drugs or any variety…be it medicinal or the illegal stuff.
YET I have never been good enough (in my eyes). My big lesson is to know when you are ‘good’ with where you are at and build on that instead of always wanting to be different. I had it in the bag last year and couldn’t see it – I see it now. And so my journey begins – regain my mental strength and lead with gratitude.
That brings me too this article http://globalhobo.com.au/2015/05/17/skin-deep/ Read it, read it again and then tell someone about it…I resonate with it as the writer and I share some truths…
I commit to working on my mindset approach to my body image and love the skin I am in.
Love the skin you are in, exercise foe joy, eat nutritiously (most of the time) — most of all — love your freaking life!!
I came across this article and well it hit a nerve…I loved very word though I also know I am not truly living all of it. This will be changing NOW…
Here is the article — what stuck out for you?
Take a stand,
Co-Parenting is a beautiful response that puts children first! The first step could be to print out this quote and remind yourself daily…Some of you may be wondering, what if I want to co-parent though the other parent isn’t willing to? That is a very fair question and can be the likely scenario especially in the early days though it’s important that as the one wanting to commit to co-parenting then it must begin with you. Consider this for a moment…imagine walking a thousand miles in your children’s shoes and if you have then what would you do better? Below are some tips…Planning – In the beginning…
- Develop a co-parenting plan; you may find this happens quite organically. If not, use the below as a guideline…
- outline a starting care schedule
- financial i.e. child support/school fees
- how to handle your children’s medical needs or concerns
- discipline and household rules/boundaries
- holidays and special events (some families do half and half or alternate years)…you may eventually be able to share these days together
- decision-making guidelines
- Aim for a flexible attitude – It benefits everyone to be flexible about your arrangements – I have expanded more on this below…
- Accept different parenting styles; just as when you were together, you each have a different style. Deal with it…
- Keep your ex-partner up to speed with ‘what’s happening’; find a way to communicate about what’s happening that works for you. We share online calendar and we use a co-parenting app.
- Give your ex-partner some time to learn the ropes; nobody is perfect and this is new for everyone. Be compassionate and patient.
- Be prepared for some negative feelings; Avoid lashing back, time heals. That said, remain on purpose to creating a positive co-parenting relationship. It will happen.
- Communication – Ooooh that word, it is after all the start and end to everything. They say, the quality of our life is determined by the quality of our communication and the quality of our communication is determined by the quality of our questions. YEP questions not statements!! Communication is the art in whichwe impart or exchange information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium. The question being here is how do you best communicate when it comes to co-parenting? Keeping in mind that in the beginning it’s a very conscious effort as to the way you respond with the other parent of your children, with practice it does become a way of life. The answer is always communicate with great thought, respect, compassion and consideration.
How; Listen, breathe…respond! Remember Co-Parenting is a beautiful response that puts children first.
**If communication is difficult in the beginning, try using a communication book or an app that makes it easier for you**
- Flexibility – Eeek you mean I have to be flexible even though we are no longer living together? YEP…probably more so!
You will find it quite common that though you have separated there still tends to be a primary parent. In the early years and still today to some extent, I had the time, he had the finances. So with younger children who are needier (though with teenagers, I am forever the taxi driver and I refer to more demanding of you emotionally) – it was our ideal that one parent be more available. In the beginning I worked weekends in retail whilst dad has a corporate career working Monday – Friday. In this case, it worked well for us that our children were with me from a Sunday night through to Friday afternoon and then with their dad on the weekend. It meant they were not away from either parent for too long whilst both parents could work and generate their own income outside of other financial arrangements you may have agreed to. This created a routine and as time moved on and both children were at school, I personally found a M-F job (retail wasn’t for me), we decided upon a new routine – 2,2,3…Mon/Tues with Dad, Wed/Thurs with Mum, Fri/Sat/Sun with Dad and then Mon/Tues with Mum and so on…
The key is flexibility, communicate your needs with each other and form an arrangement. If it doesn’t work, communicate that and then make a new arrangement. Then there will be sport and starting school etc…Your flexibility will need to adapt as your children grow and their circumstances change.
One big NO NO….Do not keep score! Look after your children as they require it. If one of you has to go away on a work thing or plans a holiday with their new partner – take your kids, make it easy!
- Take The Higher Road – Commit to leading with emotional integrity!
If you do take the high road, in the long run your children will admire you for it.
Avoid sabotaging the relationship your children have with the other parent. This serves no-one and the biggest losers are your children.
I couldn’t have said it any better than Dr Phil;
There are two important rules concerning children during times of crisis and instability in your family:
1. Do not burden your children with situations they cannot control. Children should not bear such a responsibility. It will promote feelings of helplessness and insecurity, causing them to question their own strengths and abilities.
2. Do not ask your children to deal with adult issues. Children are not equipped to understand adult problems. Their focus should be on navigating the various child development stages they go through.
In conclusion, this really is a snapshot of my experience of co-parenting for almost a decade and I truly believe I have created the most ideal scenario possible for my children. It all began with a decision and that was followed up with commitment, communication and patience. Though there were the tough times, in the long run by taking the high road – those tough times are very much in the past and today my children have a large extended family whom love them very much. Divorce ends marriages though the family lives on!
“The difficult is what takes a little time. The impossible is what takes a little longer.”
– Fridtiof Nansen, Norwegian explorer (1861-1930)
Firstly, thank you to everyone who commented on my above blog – how amazing is the blogging community!! That’s not a question, that is a fact – you are all amazing humans.
That said, I continue where I left my above blog ‘To Blog or Not To Blog’ and my paralyses through my fear of failure via comparison to others. I have since learned by definition that ‘atychiphobia’ is the fear of failure, the fear of not being good enough. BAM!! I am in the dictionary. Debbie R made an interesting comment about perfectionism…I have taken that on board and I will not confirm nor deny that it may be so, though only around my work with people 😉 Just check my desk, there is nothing perfect going on there – then again, maybe don’t!
Now that the blog drought is broken…surfs up!! Well that’s perhaps a little ambitious though I am putting it out there 🙂 I find it interesting that once you pop you simply can not stop – ideas are streaming in left right and centre. I have notes everywhere and it drives Simon nuts. That said my ‘atychiphobia’ is still very real and by feedback it’s true for a great deal of us out there. The interesting thing about saying something out loud or in a blog is you find yourself ‘catching your thoughts’ and it’s what happens after you have caught your thought that makes the difference, and potentially where the magic happens.. So, if you have blogged for the first time on this platform, I challenge you to back it up…post again 🙂
One personal empowerment model I love is “Be Do Have”, I know it’s one model our company discuss a lot throughout training calls and our Online Success Education. It is a model I chat to our team about regularly, it is I feel one of the most vital models to really know and implement. So when I consider my ability to really over think my thoughts and fears I ask myself do any of the leadership team sit there not taking the action in their business they need to take because they are too busy comparing themselves to others…ummmm NO – they may feel the fear (they are human after all) yet they do it anyway!
My life has never been the same since I truly got BE DO HAVE. In order for me to move forward and overcome this fear, I really have to identify who it is I am looking to be in my business. Years ago I actually shifted 30kg’s of weight using this model, I say this to not impress you though to impress upon you that it is not just all energy in energy out – mindset is a massive contributor.
So what’s next…
1. Find someone already ‘BEing it (ie someone to model)’ – add this person to my ‘board of directors’
2. DO what this person does – take the same action they take
3. Recognise my wins – acknowledge myself for being less perfect and less comparable
4. HAVE the results I see for my future self.
Where has BE DO HAVE worked for you and where could you implement it?
I was jumping out of my skin when it was announced on the first visionary call of the year with our company that the Alchemy Program had been formed. I couldn’t wait to share with our business associates my excitement in an overview email, I registered immediately for The Alchemy Apprenticeship and could see myself clearly winning the blog writing competition and being flown over to Colorado to hang out with our company’s founders prior to the next event.
Yet…it’s been almost a month and I have not submitted a blog entry. There is not a day that goes by that I am not thinking about it and writing down topic ideas. Then I spend a moment beating myself up about it. So, what’s stopping me…?
Lack of Commitment…nahhhh!
Lack of Passion….NO!
Comparing myself to others…HOT!!
The fear of failure by comparison paralyses me. I don’t believe I have ever said it like that before.
My fear of failure makes for a great quality as an event manager as I triple cross check everything and generally speaking nothing goes wrong as I account for every possible scenario, my goal is to always put on the best event anyone has experienced. However, that said, in our business with PG and personal life – I am my own stopper.
How am I my own stopper? I am forever comparing myself to others – unfairly, I compare myself to the person at the gym who is the strongest and fastest, I compare myself to the leaders here at PG, wondering am I worthy to be a leader and stand among them. Simon was growing his business with PG when I met him and upon my decision to join him I find myself comparing my ability with his ability to talk with prospects on the phone and his boldness to step out on most calls and just rattle off something clever and inspiring – could I do this that well??…By my own comparison, I always come off second best by my own opinion, and so I remain as I am…believing I am not quite good enough.
What’s my game plan…? I will begin by owning it, owning my quality and turn it around to use it for the greater good. That’s tough, it’s tough because it’s how I reason with myself for not doing or not participating in something. By identifying with my fear of failure, I will be able to monitor my decision making process and call myself on it and now have you guys too call me on it. The beautiful element of this leadership community is having others hold you to a higher standard.
The funny thing is by succumbing to my fear of failure, I am choosing to not participate and thus I am not choosing in…and this results in failure ANYWAY!!! Lose/Lose.
The words I live by are ‘To Lead By Example’ and yet I can feel like a fraud at times. So, I choose in. I choose to blog and will move to grow beyond my ‘fear of failure by comparison’. I am after all the supreme authority of my own life.
This morning’s call with Helen, Anna and Rachel inspired me, I can’t quite put my finger on it though there in lies just one reason to always (no matter what) PLUG IN to the training calls.
To be continued…
Our Business: Is It Easy?
Frankly – no, it’s not easy, but it is simple. And there is a difference.
The system that we use to create success is simple! It’s a 3 step system and you simply follow the steps.
The catch is that you must apply discipline and follow the 3 step system that we’ve created. Scary word that – discipline.
I’ve learned that the “average person” runs a mile when they hear the word discipline. But here’s the thing, with our company, we are not looking to create “average results”. We take a stand for the unique potential that is within all of us and set people free and on a path to creating extraordinary results.
To create above average results one must apply themselves and practice disciplined freedoms. A typical working week for us is approx. 20 hours. Much can be created in 20 hours a week of disciplined actions.
We teach you how to be most productive with your time and focus on doing the things that actually get the result, so that you have time to enjoy all that life has to offer.
Reach out to me today if you are more than average so I can assist you in knowing for yourself about our business.
“Teachers open the doors, but you must enter by yourself.” Chinese Proverb
Below is a template to create your mission statement and help you find your why.
The purpose of finding YOUR WHY is to create a passionate, direct reason for you to accomplish what ever you are looking to achieve in your life.
You may have a lot a different “whys” and your direction may change.
If your mission is to create wealth to take care of your family, what is your “Why”? Your “Why” is your family.
In order to create a mission statement that is on purpose and true to your desires, your reason for accomplishing your mission must be bigger than you.
Make no mistake you will stumble and may even fall, but knowing your “why” will give you the strength to get up, stand tall,and continue on your journey.
You have already made changes in your life that will last forever; today you will insert the final piece- YOUR MISSION STATEMENT.
By knowing and standing by your mission statement, you control your results. Hold fast to your dreams and stay the course.
To achieve the results you desire it is not necessary you enjoy the process. It is only important that you continue the process with your eyes on the outcome. An athlete does not enjoy the pain of training; and athlete enjoys the results of having trained.
You must focus on the results. Create your results now, create your future today!
Remember, average people compare themselves to other people.
That is why they are average. You only need to compare yourself to your potential! You are not average. Any adversity is only preparation for greatness.
“Success or failure as a human being is not a matter of luck, circumstances, fate, or any of the other tiresome old clichés.
Those are only excuses. The power to achieve the life of your dreams is in your hands–and the first step toward activating it is identifying the specific goals that will make your dreams real.
After all, it’s much easier to get what you want out of life when you know where you’re going.” – Nightingale.com
Below is a template to help you create YOUR mission statement. You may have multiple mission statements,
1 for business, 1 for personal, 1 for physical, or any other area in your life you feel a purpose for change.
Process of building your mission statement:
List 5 positive characteristics that define you and an action to describe each.
Enter 5 personal and/or professional goals and 1 financial goal you would like to accomplish by one year from today.
You’ve made it happen!
For a full 7 Days of FREE Success Strategies – APPLY HERE
What is freedom? Freedom is unassigned potential. It is extra time, extra money, underutilized influence, new relationships, under utilized abilities. It is the ability to move, learn and grow. It is the potential to create something you desire in your life. But it it wasted potential until it is put to constructive use. Freedom that is not being user productively does not feel like freedom. It feels more like anxiety. And if you have things in your life that need to be addressed in a significant way, that anxiety turns into stress.
Unused freedom creates the feeling of anxiety or stress, were well-used freedom feels like exhilaration or calm confidence in action. Freedom is not freedom if it is not being used. Freedom is potential power, and a human being is meant to flow that power, not bottle it up. But confusion, fear and doubt keep us from taking action, and action is the source of creation.
Learning to put freedom to constructive use is an evolutionary process, but the result is more freedom, more assignable potential. It’s what isbeyond freedom that makes someone feel free.
‘Gimme Gimme Gimme’ – Is this your message to the Universe?
Give me love (I wish someone would love me)
Give me money (I wish I had more money)
Give me a family (I wish I had a better family)
Give me good friends (I wish I had more friends)
Give me health (I wish I wasn’t sick all the time)
Give me wisdom (I wish I was smarter)
Your response from the Universe over and over again will be ‘Gimme Gimme Gimme’
I am reminded of ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’, if you want more, BE MORE FIRST. You are personally responsible for your own destiny, if contempt, fear and anger fill you then that’s what you will get back.
If you are always striving, you will never arrive…
What can you do? You must be better, be love, be abundant, be more…how? Self Education, Self Help…no money, no problem, the library has hundreds of books – start there!
Knowledge is not power it’s in the application of knowledge lies real power…A transforming power of energy, energy into action and action into results…results of love, money, health, hope, family & friends – ultimately freedom!
This is a way of life not just a moment in time, your goal is to be thriving continuously.
When you live life this way, striving does not exist 🙂