Archive for February, 2014
Firstly, thank you to everyone who commented on my above blog – how amazing is the blogging community!! That’s not a question, that is a fact – you are all amazing humans.
That said, I continue where I left my above blog ‘To Blog or Not To Blog’ and my paralyses through my fear of failure via comparison to others. I have since learned by definition that ‘atychiphobia’ is the fear of failure, the fear of not being good enough. BAM!! I am in the dictionary. Debbie R made an interesting comment about perfectionism…I have taken that on board and I will not confirm nor deny that it may be so, though only around my work with people 😉 Just check my desk, there is nothing perfect going on there – then again, maybe don’t!
Now that the blog drought is broken…surfs up!! Well that’s perhaps a little ambitious though I am putting it out there 🙂 I find it interesting that once you pop you simply can not stop – ideas are streaming in left right and centre. I have notes everywhere and it drives Simon nuts. That said my ‘atychiphobia’ is still very real and by feedback it’s true for a great deal of us out there. The interesting thing about saying something out loud or in a blog is you find yourself ‘catching your thoughts’ and it’s what happens after you have caught your thought that makes the difference, and potentially where the magic happens.. So, if you have blogged for the first time on this platform, I challenge you to back it up…post again 🙂
One personal empowerment model I love is “Be Do Have”, I know it’s one model our company discuss a lot throughout training calls and our Online Success Education. It is a model I chat to our team about regularly, it is I feel one of the most vital models to really know and implement. So when I consider my ability to really over think my thoughts and fears I ask myself do any of the leadership team sit there not taking the action in their business they need to take because they are too busy comparing themselves to others…ummmm NO – they may feel the fear (they are human after all) yet they do it anyway!
My life has never been the same since I truly got BE DO HAVE. In order for me to move forward and overcome this fear, I really have to identify who it is I am looking to be in my business. Years ago I actually shifted 30kg’s of weight using this model, I say this to not impress you though to impress upon you that it is not just all energy in energy out – mindset is a massive contributor.
So what’s next…
1. Find someone already ‘BEing it (ie someone to model)’ – add this person to my ‘board of directors’
2. DO what this person does – take the same action they take
3. Recognise my wins – acknowledge myself for being less perfect and less comparable
4. HAVE the results I see for my future self.
Where has BE DO HAVE worked for you and where could you implement it?
I was jumping out of my skin when it was announced on the first visionary call of the year with our company that the Alchemy Program had been formed. I couldn’t wait to share with our business associates my excitement in an overview email, I registered immediately for The Alchemy Apprenticeship and could see myself clearly winning the blog writing competition and being flown over to Colorado to hang out with our company’s founders prior to the next event.
Yet…it’s been almost a month and I have not submitted a blog entry. There is not a day that goes by that I am not thinking about it and writing down topic ideas. Then I spend a moment beating myself up about it. So, what’s stopping me…?
Lack of Commitment…nahhhh!
Lack of Passion….NO!
Comparing myself to others…HOT!!
The fear of failure by comparison paralyses me. I don’t believe I have ever said it like that before.
My fear of failure makes for a great quality as an event manager as I triple cross check everything and generally speaking nothing goes wrong as I account for every possible scenario, my goal is to always put on the best event anyone has experienced. However, that said, in our business with PG and personal life – I am my own stopper.
How am I my own stopper? I am forever comparing myself to others – unfairly, I compare myself to the person at the gym who is the strongest and fastest, I compare myself to the leaders here at PG, wondering am I worthy to be a leader and stand among them. Simon was growing his business with PG when I met him and upon my decision to join him I find myself comparing my ability with his ability to talk with prospects on the phone and his boldness to step out on most calls and just rattle off something clever and inspiring – could I do this that well??…By my own comparison, I always come off second best by my own opinion, and so I remain as I am…believing I am not quite good enough.
What’s my game plan…? I will begin by owning it, owning my quality and turn it around to use it for the greater good. That’s tough, it’s tough because it’s how I reason with myself for not doing or not participating in something. By identifying with my fear of failure, I will be able to monitor my decision making process and call myself on it and now have you guys too call me on it. The beautiful element of this leadership community is having others hold you to a higher standard.
The funny thing is by succumbing to my fear of failure, I am choosing to not participate and thus I am not choosing in…and this results in failure ANYWAY!!! Lose/Lose.
The words I live by are ‘To Lead By Example’ and yet I can feel like a fraud at times. So, I choose in. I choose to blog and will move to grow beyond my ‘fear of failure by comparison’. I am after all the supreme authority of my own life.
This morning’s call with Helen, Anna and Rachel inspired me, I can’t quite put my finger on it though there in lies just one reason to always (no matter what) PLUG IN to the training calls.
To be continued…