Big discussion this ~ I have been on this journey, a 35kg one!
My Ownership – I filled void for sure by eating late at night, feeling quite lonely whilst my partner at the time was busy doing his thing on his computer…I ate well generally speaking and was quite active, though it was the late night before bed bowls of cereal, lots of milk chocolate and biscuits dunked into my milo that tipped the scales….then…there was the loneliness I was experiencing inside my relationship with 2 small children. I know others may say ‘take responsibility’ ‘work from the outside in’, starts with self etc …though this is not so easy to get your head around when its new for you (which it was at the time).
For me, I really adopted the BE DO HAVE model which I read about, genius I thought.
Mentally – I knew I wanted to be smaller again, so I started reading stuff on being thankful, thankful for what I have as opposed to being disgusted and crying every morning before I started my day. It started with being grateful for what I did have IE I have an able body, good skin, great natural nails etc. I also hung out a skirt I wanted to get back into – I would see this every day.
Physically – I did a 6 week pole dancing course with other mums from school, though I was heavy, this really helped with feeling like a woman again, I got my sexy back.
My mindset was shifting, my perspective was altering…I then decided to reclaim some power, which I needed to do alone, so I broke away from my relationship (very very hard) and for the next 7 years (5 of that single) worked on myself to be the version of me I am today.
What I will also share in addition is that on making this decision to break away and reclaim my identity (not something we all need to do nor do we need to do it alone) – I shed 10 kilos in 7 days…how’s that for emotional baggage??
So…there is no magical quick fix, it’s a decision – that’s all, a decision and commitment to become a better version of yourself. 7 years on…no weight gain 🙂
It really starts with a decision to own your stuff, own your crap…it doesn’t belong to anyone else – just you!